Poor Bastard James:

G'Day bluey,

I've got a bit of a story. When I eat I usually go to the local chicken shop drive through. They know me well in there because I go through often enough.
One night I went in, and this incredibly stunning young woman served me, she was unbelievably beautifully attractive, I was in love, I placed my order and drove up to the window, she took my money and said "I love your ute".
Now when a woman says that to a ute owner she has never met, she should be prepared to back it up. I thought to myself "Jimmy, your in, she likes you". After a short period of time we got to know each other better (through the window), then it progressed to being on the same side of the window. She loved my dog, which is always on the back of the ute, so I thought I was in.
When I popped that question, you know what she said?, sorry I have a boyfriend, I couldn't believe it, I thought I was in love. She dropped a bombshell bigger than I ever expected.

James.